I am literally pinned down by a washing machine!

Don’t you love it when people say ‘literally’ when they literally mean ‘metaphorically’ or even ‘figuratively’? One of  my all time faves is ‘They’ve literally got us over a barrel’. I’m literally imagining old-fashioned hoisting equipment, complete with clanking chains and huge oily cogs, and our hapless victim dangling from a large hook.

Anyway, this is literally me, today, between the hours of 9.15 and 1.15. And if there is any problem, Dixons will feel the full force of my wrath, because I’ve been prevented from seeing some someones I very much want to see! Grrrr.

Of course, once it arrives (see what a ‘washing machine half full’ kind of person I literally am), I’ll be able to have washing machine parties, and I’ll invite all my many positively vetted friends. Figuratively speaking. 

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8 thoughts on “I am literally pinned down by a washing machine!

  1. I thought that about the shoes too, but they’re clearly figurative cos legs hang onto the end bit of our figures, don’t they? So that figures … And of course figures were made before toes which if they twinkle are literally alliterative – and if they’re in a book they’re literary literally alliterative.

    Help me someone, please …

  2. hello harfax – if there’s no-one to sign for it, will you leave it anyway? it’s unlikely to get stolen round here…
    sheepish i must confess that those are the kind of shoes i wear most of the time. yes, just call me imelda.
    hey debi did i tell you recently how much i love you?
    can nan no-on in their right mind would ever employ me as a char lady. i’m domestically challenged.
    billy dear, i know how important titles are to you, so i’ll confide that i nearly entitled this ‘i’m being pinned down by the washing machine delivery man’ but having seen him, i’m jolly glad i didn’t – it would have given me nightmares even worse than the ones i’ve probably given you with that footman thing – sorry, i just couldn’t resist (maybe that could be your number 10) xx

  3. At least your washing machine arrived on the day they told you, i had to wait in all day to then be told the delivery van had broken down and i would receive it tomorrow (between the hours of 8am to 6pm of course) i also bought mine from Dixons but online, you know Dixons don’t own that site, a company pays for the name along with other big highstreet names tut tut

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