I’ve done a terrible thing

I’ve just collected the twins from their Duke of Edinburgh training, wearing embarrassing trousers.

(I should perhaps make it clear that they’re not training to become the Duke of Edinburgh – although I’m sure they’d make a fine job of it.)*

I stayed in the car. It could have been worse. I could have got out and walked up and down in my embarrassing trousers and actually spoken to people, if I’d felt like it. But it seems I’m still a terrible mother. They were kind enough to observe, however,  that if I like my embarrassing trousers, I’m perfectly entitled to wear them – but in my own time.

That seems fair, don’t you think?

* if being the Duke of Edinburgh consists – as it seems to me – of not carrying any money and saying things out loud that would have been far better kept inside your head.



13 thoughts on “I’ve done a terrible thing

  1. y’know, violet, i actually am! i did contemplate it but i’m not sure i could cope with the opprobrium. at least in rl, people point and laugh from the other side of the street. but if it’s in your inbox!
    they are basically turquoise, fairly baggy, and with wide, irregular stripes in green, purple and blue.
    i believe the duke of edinburgh has been seen in something similar.
    (oooh, if only i had photoshop!)

  2. So why are they so distasteful, these trousers?

    Are they emblazoned with swastikas? Pictures of Keith Harris and Orville? Bright yellow? Skin tight spandex like Biff’s from Saxon? What?

    We must know.

  3. Ah, you mean lesbian/ethnic trousers. Traditionally worn with dangly earrings, Birkenstocks, a mohair jumper and possibly a CND badge. Quasi-African hat optional.

    Are you sure you’re not my mother?

  4. Ha ha ha ha – trouser duel – take that sir! and that! and that! A grown man was today rescued by the emergency services after hurting himself in a common trouser duel. The winner was a seemingly crazed woman seen running and shrieking away from the scene of the crime sporting a voluminous pair of ’embarrassment trousers’. Unfortunately not a shred of evidence was left at the scene. After receiving treatment to severe trouser burns the victim said: she’s welcome to them – I didn’t want them anyway. I’m happy with my black harem pants with small dayglo noughts and crosses over them. I’m giving up trouser duelling for good. I’ve learnt my lesson”. The police subsequently released a warning to the public: please wear 3D glasses when approaching the suspect – such is the volatile nature of the striped pattern – it has been known to induce fits of laughter/acute embarrassment when in the adjacent vicinity.

    (I think you are the best Mum for staying in the car – if that was me I would rub it in even more and prance and leap around in them to inflict maximum embarrassment to my child. My son actually told me I looked ‘disgusting in that skirt’ the other day. I wore it for two days running. Ha!)

  5. ‘That’s Emma’s dad with the Queen’ we said to Sally, showing her a picture of him showing the Queen round his cathedral (he’s a Bishop). ‘What – is Emma’s dad the Duke of Edinburgh?’ Sally shrieked. Now that would be interesting!

  6. Indeed! I seem to remember the Duke being singularly uncomplimentarty about our singing when Her Majesty distribute the Royal Maundy here a couple of years ago…

  7. Duke of Edinburgh trousers…Now there’s an image that will float around in my mind for a great deal of time….

    On a sideline… I was at this ‘healthclub’with a friend of mine and BoyWonder…
    And at the buffet, yes, the cafeteria, standing next to me, was Princess Michael of Kent…
    I say to BoyWonder,”is that Princess Michael of Kent?’
    And he says ‘Who?’
    Princess Michael of Kent… I whisper with conviction, eyes looking down so no to bring attentionto my neighbour…
    “Where? ‘Long pause then deep breath from BoyWonder at a sudden realization’Who the hell is Princess Michael of Kent?’
    ‘Prince Michael’s wife…’
    Who is Prince Michael?
    THe man standing next to her… Right there….
    “But who is Prince Michael of Kent? and why is his wife named Michael?
    Oh, forget it…
    “But how would I know if it is Prince what the hell???
    Because , you love history and I though you would have remembered the scandal over her dad…
    Her dad?
    Yes, her dad…
    What was his name?
    i don’t know….
    Then how would I know about him?
    Because he was a Nazi….
    And he was a Prince….
    Oh, forget it….

    And yes,it was Prince and Princess Michael of Kent in the buffet…
    And yes it was us, Pendullum and BoyWonder in the line next to them\….

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