I have been dabbling in the Yakult!

And here’s why.

In the last few weeks we have had a interloper cat troubling the tranquility of our lovely home (hemhem). And of our lovely cats. This beastly creature had probably once been someone’s pampered pet, but he’d gone feral and had been hanging round our gaffe for a while, I think, to judge from the torn binbags and the scratches and bites on our pair of softies. He gradually got bolder and bolder and eventually started coming in through the cat flap of a night (and even of a day, sometimes) and toughing up our cats whenever he saw them. We called him the Ginger Ninja. 

So one day, I was ejecting  him through the front door when something spooked him and he went bonkers and attacked me! Yes! Poor blameless little me – and sank his manky teeth and claws into my right forearm. Which proceeded to blow up like a balloon overnight, turn bright red from wrist to elbow and become very hot and sore indeed! It looked a bit like this:


But with fewer cloves.

So I took it along to show the doctor – who looked quite disgusted – and slapped me on the strongest antibiotics in his extensive repertoire – with hilarious results.

And that is why I have been avidly ingesting friendly bacteria in the form of Yakult. I’ve had enough of the unfriendly type.


11 thoughts on “I have been dabbling in the Yakult!

  1. Oh dear! So is the bottle the friendly bacteria or virulent Ginger Ninja poison? Maybe you should get one of those poles with a noose on the end with which to catch the beast should he ever again enter your abode…

  2. I’d lend you the WunderDog to take care of the ginga ninja, but she is really only a danger to herself. Her sad sad sorry self.

    Does Yakult taste as bad as it sounds?

  3. corgi, m’dear – it is the friendly bacteria (allegedly) – but i think producing a foodstuff with a name that contains the letters y u k is an elementary marketing error. the ninja has left … as mysteriously as he came. but the cats are still jumpy. (and so am i)
    flutter i’m very tempted. it would confer instant kudos (from my son, at least)
    alph how is little felafel these days? not too good from the sound of it. yakult tastes as it sounds!

  4. Ouch! I got mauled (yes, mauled) by a half-wild tomcat when I was 10 yrs old. He tore open my right wrist and left claw marks from the back of my hand all the way up to my elbow. The torn wrist bled so bad, I soaked thru a couple of towels on the way to the ER. Fortunately, he failed to turn me off cats. In fact, my childhood kitty, Freddy, was ‘meowing’ in a concerned voice and licking me all over when I got home. Yeah, pound for pound (kilo for kilo?) cats are much stronger than dogs, they can do some real damage if they feel threatened.

  5. Get a big stick with a nail in it and wallop the interloper with it.

    Or bait a coolbox with tuna and then “release” it into another area one dark night.

    At least you’ll be left with cool duelling-stylee scars as a memento.

  6. hi mel my doctor is a bit of an animal lover, i reckon, and told me that, basically, by pulling away when the hideous beast sank it’s claws into me, i’d frightened it and that was why it had sunk them in even deeper and bit me too. i expect i should have spoken soothingly to it or maybe sung it a little song. grrrrr (Freddy sounds divine)
    hello tim, just don’t get piranhas by mistake.
    lucy(y) the ginja ninja seems to have left of his own accord – maybe i gave him indigestion. yes – i’ve often fancied a duelling scar *drifts off into fantasy about life as a pirate*

  7. GP is wrong – cat’s claws are curved down for exactly that reason – they hook in and then pull/rip. No poles or prods needed – just keep a plant sprayer with water in it on single jet – next time it comes around one phwish of water and it won’t be coming back. I love cats but cat scratches really hurt and water dries out and doesn’t hurt them….go on – get spraying! Hope it gets better soon. x

    PS: my son has been referred to as the ginga whinger in his time!

  8. If I lose my job it’s your fault for directing me to this site.

    This post reminded me very much of Alice Thomas Ellis’ Home Life books. Remind me to tell you sometime how I nearly went out with one of her sons.


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