Things I never thought I would end up doing (part 1)

The other night, one of my cats brought in a mouse. It escaped for a moment and seemed to be salvageable so I thought I’d salvage it. Unfortunately, my cat (Smudge) also had the same idea and grabbed the mouse before I could get to him.

This is not my cat, by the way. Mine is a hundred times more handsome. And very determined.

So there I was with this wretched cat clamped between my knees and my left hand cupped under his mouth ready to catch the mouse when he eventually let go or loosened his grip, at least.

And I waited. And I waited.

And all the time Smudge is doing this furious growling thing.

And I waited. And I tried to lever his jaws open, to no avail.

So, in desperation, I held his nose.

That’s right – I held a cat’s nose.

And eventually, he dropped the mouse and I released it outside.

There – you heard it here first. I have held a cat’s nose.


You know, the worst of it is, this actually enhances my CV. God! I’m so proud of myself!


17 thoughts on “Things I never thought I would end up doing (part 1)

  1. I have never held a cat’s nose, for any reason, and hope to never have to do so. Maybe you need to keep a supply of kitty-sized hankies handy while your huntress scours her surroundings for live prey with which to gift you.
    I highly admire your mouse-centered charity.

  2. thank you cronz. i think, though, it’s my daughter who is empress of all the kitties. they regularly crunch the bones outside her bedroom door. i can’t recommend cat nose holding as a hobby, but should the need arise at least i’ve established that it can be accomplished without major loss. xxx

  3. dis sorry to sneak up on you like that! did i give you a fright? very much looking forward to seeing the finished product. anyway – yes, it probably will become a series although i don’t have anything planned at present. the thing is, i’ve noticed that i quite often think to myself, ‘how on earth did i get into this situation’. seems to be a defining characteristic of my days … i veer through life riding the clutch, as it were.
    ister please, please, please tell me more. do you suppose cosmetic surgeons ever get tired of saying to their rhinoplasty patients, ‘would you like to pick your nose’?
    deb phew – thanks. i was beginning to get cramp. xx

  4. Well RG, it’s a common myth that you should only use matchsticks or cotton wool buds to pick a cat’s nose. These implements, as we all know, are too thick girth wise and would never fit up a feline’s nostril. What you need is a something thin but rigid, such as a pen refill or an electric guitar string (preferably used but wiped down with an antiseptic solution prior to application). This will allow you, the picker, to really rummage around the cat’s (the pickee) nostrils, allowing simple and efficient removal of hardened snot.
    Whatever you do, don’t try and make the cat inhale Vick’s Sinex. They don’t like that.

  5. Oh my crap, Tim Footman just made me vurp.

    My cat is 18, not grumpy at all, and I am going to hold her nose now just to see what she does.

  6. just putting my head round the door to say thanks for the comment re the croup and Cranford. very unsettling scene – esp coming so close after our little run-in with the thing. I love the NHS with a passion.

  7. ister or should i call you mister ister? my respect for you grows with every new fact i learn. first the ear wax, no the cat bogeys. i’m all agog – quite literally!!!
    lucY resist! prison is no place to spend christmas. although … someone else doing the cooking and a room or one’s own … it’s beginning to sound appealing (don’t want to be anyone’s cellbitch though)
    sean unfortunately for my cat, he doesn’t have the equipment!
    ok tim you totally win! i’d far sooner be round the front end of a cat than the rear end of a dog …
    jimmy i agree! tim deserves some kind of award – i bet there’s a blog category for bloggers writing on the topic of dogs’ anal glands … somewhere. thank you for carrying out the experiment on your cat. we seekers after truth have to forge boldly ahead. hope you cat has forgiven you.
    youda i so agree. i think the important thing, probably, would be to remember to put the clothespeg on your nose BEFORE you begin.
    stephen glad your little boy is better. croup is terribly scary for all concerned – just the sound! ugghhh! hope it’s a one off. we’re fairly sanguine about it now having had so many bouts. and you’re right – what would we do without the NHS, flawed though it may be?
    alph okay – you win now. what a lovely pre-christmas treat for you. i’ll bet the rest of the family made themselves scarce!!! xxx

  8. i know this is an old post and probable wont get read but i thought i should right it anyway. please dont use any ‘thing’ to pick a cats nose in case of accident. if you really feel the need to pick your animals noes use your finger nail. they dont really need help getting hard snot out of there nose but they are our babies and we cant help ‘helping’. there bottoms dont need wiping either.
    from cathering, fred and gingerxxx

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