Remember …

… not to accidentally wash a poppy in with your whites …

… or you’re likely to remember it for some time.

(My sister told me that.)


Fork ‘andles

Anyone unfortunate enough not to be British had better watch this clip of Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett before reading any further or none of this will make any sense at all (okay – even less than usual):

Right! Are we sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin….

A friend of mine makes a bit of extra dosh by letting out rooms to language students coming to learn to speak the Eeeeenglish in lovely Stratford on Avon. So, a while ago she had a Spanish chap come to stay and very nice he was too. I think what particularly endeared him was the fact that he came bearing gifts. It always works with me too. So, he presented her with a little package (about the size of a video) and said (now do his bit in your head in a reeeeeaaally strong Spanish accent, okay?)

Spanish chap: ‘I have gift for you. Eees traditional Espanish. Turrones. You know?’

My friend: ‘The Two Ronnies? Yes! Of course. I love them.’

SC: ‘Oh! You know turrones? Eees etypical in Espain. You like?’

MF: ‘No – they’re English. The Two Ronnies. Definitely English. They’re on telly at Christmas every year.’

SM: ‘Yes, ees good for Christmas. Ma … Eeenglish? No – I theenk ees turrones etypical Espanish. Eees very good.’

MF: ‘Yes! Very good. Very funny! But I’m amazed – you really have the Two Ronnies in  Spain at Christmas too? No way!’

SM: ‘Yes, turrones eees traditional in Espain for long time.

MF: Yeah – the Two Ronnies’ve been going for years! I had no idea they were popular in Spain though …

…. and so it went on.

How amazingly appropriate!

Now, just so we’re clear:

Turrones – tasty Spanish nougat full of almonds:

Two Ronnies – UK comedy duo famed for ingenious wordplay:

Newsflash! According to Ister, turrones tastes of earwax. That’s the turrones and NOT the Two Ronnies who, I’m sure, would have been delicious.