Because of a thing someone asked me to do on the way to going somewhere else to meet someone about something, I found myself, at 9.00 this morning driving around a trading estate on the outskirts of Leamington Spa.
My friend – the one who asked me to do this something – called me on my mobile and explained that her directions had been wrong. I needed to turn right after the garage, she said, down Artemis Drive. Well, I was on Apollo Way at the time, having just turned off Olympus Avenue and I thought – Aha! Because I’m quick that way. When I reached my destination and had done the thing I was supposed to do before doing the other thing, I reversed in Plato Close and returned thoughtfully to the main drag – Europa Way. Here are a few of the people I saw as I drove along:
Okay – I made that bit up.
How did this happen? Do you think someone in the urban planning department ended up there after a Classics degree, has lost the plot entirely and is attempting, by stealth, to bring a little much-needed culture to the mean streets of South Warwickshire? Or is it a subversive and ironic comment on the evils of urban sprawl and consumerism?
Either way, I’m onto you, unusually-well-educated urban planner with a strange sense of humour! I know your game! And now so do the three people who (very) occasionally read this blog.
You don’t believe me, do you, gentle readers? Wake up to this Olympian peril before it’s too late! It’s even worse than I thought.
URGENT UPDATE: The gods walk among us – and not just in Leamington Spa. Check out this much-awaited debut novel by Marie Phillips. It’s provoked the kind of pre-publication hysteria that would normally have me gnashing my teeth with envy – but Marie is so lovely, I can’t honestly feel anything but delighted for her. It’s going to be HUGE. (And remember it was me what tipped you off.)