You might well be what you eat

Like Gillian McKeith, I don’t have a PhD in nutrition, so I feel perfectly well qualifed to share with you my theories … of which, as you may have already gathered, I have many.

When it comes to fruit and veg, I’m all in favour of 5-a-day. Here’s how: 

It’s well established that Jaffa Cakes are a prime source of vitamin C, but it starts to deteriorate once the pack is opened, so you have to eat them all up as fast as possible.

Popcorn – obviously. But not the Cinema Sweet variety. That’s just yucky.

Maple syrup, as we all know, comes from a tree. So that makes it a vegetable (and Rilly Super will back me up on this). Have a little more.

Come on – they wouldn’t call them fruit shoots if there wasn’t loads and loads of real fruit in them, would they? I mean, that would be wrong.

And what better to end with than carrot cake. Especially if you eat the little carrot things on top – that’s practically salad!

Bon appetit!


27 thoughts on “You might well be what you eat

  1. Brilliant and there’s me thinking that I eat too many cakes and biscuits, thankyou for sharing this valuable nutritional info. I’m off for a slice of fruit cake, Yippee!!!!

  2. sheepish fruit cake – now why didn’t i think of that?
    mangonel very sensible precaution – especially with all those long sea voyages one might take. oh – i just thought of another – the olive in your martini. that definitely counts
    billy i’m worried about your vitamin intake. dip the afore mentioned jaffa cakes and you’ll be fine.

  3. Kettle chips and wine! The perfectly balanced meal – some starch and unsaturated fat, plus a little bit of sodium chloride for good electrolyte balance. Then tons of grapes (healthy fruit) plus a smidge of sugar and some alcohol to provide energy!

    I am the very picture of health, me!

  4. Do you know I think the nail may have been firmly knocked on the occiput here.
    I am just off up the high street to re evaluate my own shopping strategy.
    I think the off licence has a deal on wine and that practically as good as eating grapes isnt it?

    Oh I feel foolish now I see spymum has me beat.

  5. spy that’s my kind of lunch!
    meredic wine would be perfect, but not quite enough fibre on its own. i recommend munching on the cardboard wine carrier thoughtfully provided by the supermarket when you buy 6 bottles. tasty!
    flutter good point – you’re supposed to eat a rainbow, aren’t you? look no further than the bears.
    niki we should meet for lunch at woolies pik’n’mix

  6. sounds about perfect – with pictures of all my favorite things – although I would have to substitute Lyle’s golden syrup for the maple. Sugar cane – also originally rich in fibre!

    And condensed milk is milk isn’t it?

  7. lia now milk is moving onto protein – that could make a whole other post, what with candy shrimps and those nice jelly fried eggs. stick with ice cream and you can’t go wrong. oh, and cheese cake. condensed milk, of course, is an ingredient of fudge, so we should include that too. and cadbury creme eggs – yum!
    steph glad you take your nutritional responsibilities so seriously – don’t forget the red wine.
    debi that’s my kind of logic – what did you have to eat at waterstones the other day, btw? it was all yummy, but sadly no carrot cake. we should meet a patisserie valerie next time!

  8. Hmmm – just trying to get my Salt & Vinegar fix into your prism – apparently vinegar is actually a health food or medicine, isn’t it?

    ta for the flyby!

    (Oh, and I have some Guides bickies to sell – although the postage may put them out of reach!!)

  9. Yes, if we didn’t have all that vodka and orange, baked beans and salt-and-vinegar crisps we’d be seriously deficient as well.
    Now where are those Jaffa cakes again?

  10. I’ve heard that a nice drop of red wine has health enhancing properties too rivergirlie. I’ve always applied the ‘five a day’ rule to bottles of rioja. I don’t know if it works but then I am 137.

  11. If it’s true that “You Are What You Eat”, Gillian McKeith should consider cutting down on the number of gerbils and hamsters she stuffs down her neck every day.

    Honestly, every time her programme is on I want to throw nuts and handfuls of sawdust at the TV.

  12. m&m i like you already because you have the name of a sweet. yes – i agree. she always looks as though she has been sucking lemons. probably very cleansing.
    jeanie yes, the vinegar is essential so we’ll have to include crisps. well potatoes are veg, aren’t they?
    mr x that sounds like a well balanced diet. and today i remembered donuts. nuts are a good source of protein, and if they have jam in the middle, you’ve got fruit as well.
    rilly i much prefer that road longevity to the dried apricot and goat’s milk yoghurt rubbish they advocate in the health food mags. it must work, cos you only look 21 – but maybe that’s the clear norther air!
    pen i’m having trouble posting on your site – but thanks for the nomination … you scamp! keep up the wine. for medicinal purposes only, of course.
    fr she’s a cautioun all right! and for someone of a rodent disposition, it must be very distressing.

  13. Nobody could possibly doubt the reasoning behind your conclusions.

    You do also know, don’t you, that all foods contain no calories on a Friday? The girls in my office use this fact to justify going to the pub for chips on a Friday lunchtime.

  14. steve i’m going to have to cancel my direct debit – not a single sycophantic endearment in that lot! pull yerself together, man.
    the girls in your office are indeed wise. i’ll put that into practice at once. other food that doesn’t count is anything your kids leave and anything eaten standing up at the fridge. i should definitely write a diet book.

  15. Oh, and chocolate given to you by someone else rather than that which you have purchased yourself contains no calories either, you beautiful, ravishing, awe-inspiring goddess of the sun, you.

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