I’ve got a terrible backlog of memes. It’s not quite as painful as it sounds, but I’m getting constant twinges in the region of my conscience. The only remedy is to get on and do ’em … all four of ’em. You’ve been warned. Turn to another channel now if you don’t want to find out more about me than you ever hoped to know …
First, if I’m not much mistaken, came my good friend LawyerMama who, about 5 years ago – blog years, that is, which are similar to dog years (has anyone else noticed how fast time moves in the blogosphere?), so it was probably only about 3 or 4 months – asked me to list 6 strange things about myself. Bloody hell – where to start?
1) I haven’t been bowling very often, and part of the reason is that I have this awful fear that my thumb will get caught in the hole in the ball, and will either be pulled off or dislocated when I bowl it. I may have seen something of the kind on Tom and Jerry once and it’s stayed with me.
2) I can’t abide the sound of toast being buttered (some of you may know about this already, cos I fessed up to it once before – to much derision). As a consequence, I only ever make my toast on setting 2.5 on my toaster. My husband – incomprehensibly – thinks toast should be crunchy. What a weirdo! This means we have regular battles over the toaster setting. Grounds for divorce, I feel sure.
3) I started learning to play the cello while I was pregnant with the twins. After a while, I couldn’t really reach any more but my brilliant career was also thwarted by the fact that I have very short little fingers – no, I mean my little finger on both hands is/are short … oh you know what I mean. Anyway, I’d no doubt be brilliant if it weren’t for my little finger deficiency. They only come halfway up the middle joint on my ring finger. Now you’re looking at your fingers, aren’t you? Oh – the power!
4) I am very hardhearted and cry about once a year. I always cry at funerals, even if I barely knew the deceased and I also cry at that bit in The Railway Children near the end, when Jenny Agutter goes, ‘Daddy! It’s my Daddy!’. Oh blimey – I’m tearing up now. What’s wrong with me? Actually, I was hospitalised for quite a while when I was about 18 months and so didn’t see my parents much – maybe I have separation issues.
5) I’m wonky. The left-hand side of my body is unlucky and sustains far more injuries than the right. Broken wrist, sprained ankle (often), dislocated elbow (twice), knee injuries. And I’m astigmatic in my left eye only. Sadly, my warranty has expired or I’d return myself like a shot.
6) I’m a Freeman of the City of London.
7) I’ll give you one more – wake up, for goodness sake! – since it’s taken me so blasted long to get round to this … I have a Blue Peter Badge, plus a signed letter from Val, John, Pete and Biddy Baxter. (Yes, I’m that old.) I’m extremely proud of it!
Okay! The next meme was from the lovely AlphaDogMa, who lives in the frozen North yet has the warmest heart and one of the best senses of humour (sense of humours?) I’ve ever come across. My mission from her, which I have chosen to accept, is the following: Find the nearest book. Name the Author & title. Turn to page 123. Post sentences 6-8.
Rightie ho. Looking round. Must tidy this desk! Collins Robert French/English dictionary. I don’t think so. Who’s Who – ditto. I won’t do it from one of my own novels – that would be tacky. Luckily for you Cactus and Succulents doesn’t have enough pages. It’s Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll – the copy I had as a child with the Tenniel illustrations. It smells wonderfully of old book. (ADM, I know you’ll appreciate that). There are only 6 sentences on the page, so I’ll do 2-4, okay?
So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to-‘ At this moment, Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out ‘The Queen! The Queen!’ and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
My book has coloured illustrations, sadly I couldn’t find one to post here – one day, I’ll work out how to use that pesky scanner – and I remember spending hours and hours lying in the sunshine, reading it. Awwwwww. Thanks, Alpha, for sending me back to a lovely memory. I’m feeling all nostalgic. Think I’ll phone my mum and …. daddy … it’s my daddy! (sniff sniff)
Sigh – I know I’ve got 2 more memes to do, but if I’m getting bored with myself, how must you be feeling? I’ll do them soon – promise!
x
Down by the River 
“daddy, my daddy!” kills me EVERY TIME
feel kinda sniffy just reading you write it
bless jenny agutter and their ‘lowly-fallen-on-hard-times-cause-dad’s-in-jail’ cottage
cottage? tuh! i think NOT
p.s. i coulda had a BP badge but was too embarrassed to ask (well, i did appear on the show at the ripe old age of 26 – it didn’t seem right)
Your a freeman of the City of London? HOw come???
My bil and sil teach at Freeman’s down here, so they get to go up to posh dinners occasionally at Guildhall, and all my brothers went to the other City of London school.
Don’t understand memes. What are they are, and what are they for????
Also what a great page to fall on…
I used not to do crying. And then I had two bereavements and two children in quick succession and now I am like a damp sponge. I even cried at the end of Green Wing for god’s sake. And don’t get me started on Dr Who… sob sob…
Janex
You lost me at number two. I don’t think we can be blog friends anymore. Goodbye forever.
Or at least, goodbye until the next time you post, you freakish weirdo.
You finally did it!
That toast thing is still strange. I always think of you when I butter toast now though!
If it makes you feel better, I am also wonky, also on the left side. All of my major injuries have been on the left side and the bruises – Oye! My left knee always looks horrendous. I also have astigmatism in only my left eye.
Am typing one handed while holding toast with the other. The toast is slathered in Cheez Whiz (aka Plastic cheese in the vernicular of my children) – have any issues with this particular spread? Any issues with peanut butter? Jam?
Thanks for doing the meme. Even if you did use a dirty book.
You started playing the cello while pregnant? What’s wrong with you? You thought you’d need some thing to occupy all the leisure hours while you had newborns?
what’s this?! mother moves to the country with children whilst husband is mysteriously absent and feels all sad and wistful, struggling to adapt and just sits looking forlorn each day after she has sent her children to go and play by the railway where they watch the trains and long for her their father to return? damn that E Nesbit! She didn’t even leave a comment on my blog to say thanks for the idea Rilly!
Oh oh. I had a Blue Peter badge. I sent in a drawing that was meant to be an Escher like puzzle. I think Biddy took pity on me. Now, somehow, I have to get myself made a freeman. It’s so hard keeping up with the blogging Joneses
Okay the toast thing is a bit odd… Maybe two toasters to remedy the problem…
It is like you should have duelling toasters at your house..
and maybe if you buttered up your thumbs you could go bowling???
Well strange weirdo that I am I can sympathise with toast thing. My setting never goes above the 2 setting in fact but I am much worse with the ironing board screech. I have been known to screech myself if people don’t attempt to put it up silently. I was worried recently that it could be some latent form of Astergers but i can cry at the drop of at a hat and am quite emotional really so it can’t be that. As for being wonky – I bang into things alot also due to astigmatism in left eye. Weird. Cue the Twilight Zone music. Doo de doo doo. Doo de doo doo.
PS: oops I meant Asperger’s! I type too fast or think too fast or both.
The buttering of toast sets my teeth on edge. That scritch scritch scritch…I completely sympathize. I’m the same way with the sound of certain fabrics being touched but I can never remember which ones until it’s happening.
I’m pretty good at bawling at the drop of a hat, was feeling teary eyed with Alan Ball’s son today, but can keep a stiff upper lip when needed. You have a thing about bacon and pigs so pop by my blog for a bit of fun if you have time. All in good taste I assure you!!!!!!
Sorry. I’d have commented sooner BUT I’VE ONLY JUST STOPPED LOOKING AT MY FINGERS.
What??? No crunchy toast? I’ve never heard of such a thing.
That scene from The Railway Children – it does exactly the same to me. I weep and weep, and I have seen the film zillions of times. Ah, I feel a little teary right now….
urban phew – thought it was just me! wonder how much their lowly cottage would fetch now? you should claim your bp badge then you, me and moobs should all meet up, wearing them. what larks! (sorry – been watching pride’n’prejudice)
jane it happened sort of automatically because i’m a freeman of one of the city livery companies – through patrimony, cos my dad a member of the court – and is a pastmaster. i think the only privilege it confers is that i can drive my flock of sheep over london bridge on one day of the year. must try it sometime. crying at dr who!? blimey – sure it’s not just lust?
nat surely you’re not suggesting that toast should be crunchy? whatever next …
steph i feel i’ve shortchanged you a bit cos i did recycle the toast thing – but i can only remember my odd stuff when i’m away from the computer. maybe i’ll carry a little notebook round with me. so glad to hear i’m in your thoughts at breakfast time. re: left-sided wonkiness – maybe we’re twins, separated at birth!
alph i don’t mind what you spread on your toast, provided you do it quietly. it’s the sound i can’t bear. re cello – yes, i actually did think i’d have plenty of time to practise once the twins were born. can you believe it?
moobs is your badge one of the newfangled plastic ones or a little round metal one? we must wear them with pride!
pen sheer genius! a bit like buttering a cat’s paws (which i’ve actually done once – must remember to blog it)
rocky at last! someone who understands me
jen you, me and rocky – too sensitive for this world, really
sheepish that was very sad about alan ball, wasn’t it. that sort of thing upsets me too – maybe i’m not so hard hearted as i thought.
mangonel i’d have replied sooner – but i’ve only just stopped laughing x
wordgirl only crunchy toast if i’m not in the room. or gingernuts – oh dear, i am weird aren’t i?
ms m jenny agutter – fantastic! snif snif