I’ve got a terrible backlog of memes. It’s not quite as painful as it sounds, but I’m getting constant twinges in the region of my conscience. The only remedy is to get on and do ’em … all four of ’em. You’ve been warned. Turn to another channel now if you don’t want to find out more about me than you ever hoped to know …
First, if I’m not much mistaken, came my good friend LawyerMama who, about 5 years ago – blog years, that is, which are similar to dog years (has anyone else noticed how fast time moves in the blogosphere?), so it was probably only about 3 or 4 months – asked me to list 6 strange things about myself. Bloody hell – where to start?
1) I haven’t been bowling very often, and part of the reason is that I have this awful fear that my thumb will get caught in the hole in the ball, and will either be pulled off or dislocated when I bowl it. I may have seen something of the kind on Tom and Jerry once and it’s stayed with me.
2) I can’t abide the sound of toast being buttered (some of you may know about this already, cos I fessed up to it once before – to much derision). As a consequence, I only ever make my toast on setting 2.5 on my toaster. My husband – incomprehensibly – thinks toast should be crunchy. What a weirdo! This means we have regular battles over the toaster setting. Grounds for divorce, I feel sure.
3) I started learning to play the cello while I was pregnant with the twins. After a while, I couldn’t really reach any more but my brilliant career was also thwarted by the fact that I have very short little fingers – no, I mean my little finger on both hands is/are short … oh you know what I mean. Anyway, I’d no doubt be brilliant if it weren’t for my little finger deficiency. They only come halfway up the middle joint on my ring finger. Now you’re looking at your fingers, aren’t you? Oh – the power!
4) I am very hardhearted and cry about once a year. I always cry at funerals, even if I barely knew the deceased and I also cry at that bit in The Railway Children near the end, when Jenny Agutter goes, ‘Daddy! It’s my Daddy!’. Oh blimey – I’m tearing up now. What’s wrong with me? Actually, I was hospitalised for quite a while when I was about 18 months and so didn’t see my parents much – maybe I have separation issues.
5) I’m wonky. The left-hand side of my body is unlucky and sustains far more injuries than the right. Broken wrist, sprained ankle (often), dislocated elbow (twice), knee injuries. And I’m astigmatic in my left eye only. Sadly, my warranty has expired or I’d return myself like a shot.
6) I’m a Freeman of the City of London.
7) I’ll give you one more – wake up, for goodness sake! – since it’s taken me so blasted long to get round to this … I have a Blue Peter Badge, plus a signed letter from Val, John, Pete and Biddy Baxter. (Yes, I’m that old.) I’m extremely proud of it!
Okay! The next meme was from the lovely AlphaDogMa, who lives in the frozen North yet has the warmest heart and one of the best senses of humour (sense of humours?) I’ve ever come across. My mission from her, which I have chosen to accept, is the following: Find the nearest book. Name the Author & title. Turn to page 123. Post sentences 6-8.
Rightie ho. Looking round. Must tidy this desk! Collins Robert French/English dictionary. I don’t think so. Who’s Who – ditto. I won’t do it from one of my own novels – that would be tacky. Luckily for you Cactus and Succulents doesn’t have enough pages. It’s Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll – the copy I had as a child with the Tenniel illustrations. It smells wonderfully of old book. (ADM, I know you’ll appreciate that). There are only 6 sentences on the page, so I’ll do 2-4, okay?
So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to-‘ At this moment, Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out ‘The Queen! The Queen!’ and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
My book has coloured illustrations, sadly I couldn’t find one to post here – one day, I’ll work out how to use that pesky scanner – and I remember spending hours and hours lying in the sunshine, reading it. Awwwwww. Thanks, Alpha, for sending me back to a lovely memory. I’m feeling all nostalgic. Think I’ll phone my mum and …. daddy … it’s my daddy! (sniff sniff)
Sigh – I know I’ve got 2 more memes to do, but if I’m getting bored with myself, how must you be feeling? I’ll do them soon – promise!