I spot a gap in the market ….

I’ve been meaning to blog this for ages! Yes, it is what you think it is. I found it on the very amusing and insightful blog of I’m Somebody’s Mother?

In the context in which it was sent to her, it was actually rather sweet, and clearly some powerful juju. But I’ve also seen it suggested as a gift for women who have just had hysterectomies! Hmmm.
So that got me thinking – why stop at uteri? Why not gall bladders, appendices, kidney stones. They could sell them in hopsital shops. I could make a fortune! I could sell the idea to the venture capitalists on Dragons Den. The possibilities are endless …

And this particular organ, of course, has an innate advantage in that, with just a slight adjustment, it could be used as a handy evening bag. Maybe a zip (now wouldn’t that make a Caesarean easier), tie the tubes (ouch) to make the carrying strap. You’d have to worry about stuff falling out through the birth canal, of course…

Be honest with me – this isn’t going to work, is it? And how would you feel if it started to come unravelled? Oh well, back to the drawing board …


29 thoughts on “I spot a gap in the market ….

  1. Oh My God. I thought the painted bellies were bad enough.

    Where do you find these things????

    As my sister remarked when she’d had her fourth baby, it’s time to hang up the fallopian tubes.

    If you listen to Jeremy Vine he’s covering the other ouch! factor for boys… vasectomies. One day I will write our story down…

  2. When you wrote ‘It is what you think it is’, I was congratulating myself for recognising Tracy Beaker. Don’t worry, I have since been disabused.

  3. I think there is something wrong with me – I was racking my brain as to what it could be and the only sensible thing I could think of was a lightbulb holder! You know, so it doesn’t break when you put it in the cupboard. I’m worried there is something truly wrong with my brain i really am.

  4. jh i’m not sure how i find such oddities. maybe i’m specially attuned to a particular type of mad mutha …
    would love to hear the vasectomy story – i’ll bet it’s a good’un!
    urban chick you made me snort tea through my nose. i’ve always thought the islets sounded rather like an archipelego (sp?) in the dutch antilles. but i don’t think they’d make such a great holiday destination … what was that sf film when they shrunk down a bunch of scientists and injected them into someone’s blood stream in a teeny submarine? sounds about as plausible as a knitted uterus, doesn’t it?
    tk what a fine name! is it for real? the kerouac bit, i mean. (nothing wrong with tk – but you know what i mean) glad to bring you mirth.
    doc bet you could do with a 2% lycra uterus in a nice stretchy rib!
    100words more tea – more hot nostrils! evidently this isn’t as obvious as i thought, out of context. tracy beaker is a very creative answer, though. i like!
    rockmother i don’t think it’s you at all. 100words was foxed too. and let’s face it, a woollen uterus is not something you see every day! i like the light bulb idea – maybe it’ll be you on dragon’s den!

  5. To be honest, at first glance I thought it was a dolly’s head with pigtails – you could embroider a face on it and fake people out!

  6. Hi first time reader, first time WTF? It was a pretty good post…

    Oh BTW I found your blog by clicking on you in To Momma

  7. it could be a useful IUD holder. For when you want to pop it out a mo’ or something.

    One of my friends crocheted us girls Thongs for Christmas (red with white fluffy bits) We called them Crongs.

  8. Such wonderful gift ideas. And what about little knitted sperms – maybe put together into a mobile – for men who’ve had vasectomies?

  9. You have got to be kidding me. I think you should go with the evening bag idea — you just never know how many people will buy something so ridiculous!

  10. wordgirl you have to work up through the organs. start with something easy, like small intestine – not so very different from a scarf, i expect (hey – i watch er. i know these things)
    groovy oh sorry. that happens to me quite often. ribena is the worst – so sticky!
    lucy can you IMAGINE? they’re so scary, those people. it would almost be worth it, though, just to see their faces. you’d have to be dead serious about it, though…
    kittenpie we could do a puppet show. a talking uterus … hmm, the stories it could tell!
    paula thanks for stopping by. i don’t know how to work that topmomma thing – so i’ll probably slide right off the screen. maybe i’ve gone already … into comfy obscurity once again!
    ydm boobs! no, i haven’t seen them. please send link – stat! (hey how did that sound? impressive, non?)
    rfg o blimey! and i thought i was kidding when i suggested a knitted small intestine. i’m a firm believer in the power of inanimate objects to work miracles – i am catholic, after all!
    momish pippy longstocking – or uterus head, as she was affectionately known. i see where you’re coming from, though!
    ginga slip out your iud!? rather you than me, darlin’. i’d very much like to see a crong – any chance of a post?
    emma we should set up in business together
    nic i, like you, am clearly very uterus minded. i thought it was obvious – which was why i didn’t bother to explain until later on in the post. rather glad i didn’t now. it’s been so entertaining!
    mommy damn – just too late to get them to the oscar nominees. there’s always next year …

  11. i ran an online quiz recently and one of my questions was: where are the islets of langerhans? and someone did reply: the dutch antilles

    so take heart – you’re not alone

    yes, i also liked the knitted bosoms which i first saw on the BBC news website attached – ha – to a piece about helping encourage younger women to breastfeed – in fact, they put out a plea at the end for more willing knitters to come forward to work on the prototypes

    if only i knew how to cast off

  12. urban chick i do really know where they are (i think). something to do with the pancreas … no? i’m tempted to ask what size your boobs are (the wooly ones, of course) since you can’t cast off? have you just kept on going and going and going? wonderful image …
    pen always lovely to see you. it would make a very nice little hat, with fallopian ties – in fact, my ski hat is not disimilar. no wonder everyone laughs – i thought it was just my skiing …
    otj it could be a uterus cosy – along the lines of a tea cosy only … oh well, you get the idea.
    debi call me old-fashioned, but i think i’d feel slightly uncomfortable rummaging round in a velvet vulva, trying to fish my carkeys out of it!

  13. You can just imagine the conversation …

    – I’ve lost my carkeys.
    – Have you checked your vulva, darling?

    By the way – linking’s easy peasy. Must be if I can do it …

    Check out either template or settings. Or try blogger help.

  14. I’ve got to get me one of those! I’m a diabetic and I could really use a new pancreas. You suppose she could knit me one of those? Think of all the people on transplant lists. I see possibilities!

  15. When we emigrated from Australia to the UK I had to sell my car. It was a wonderful car. A classic. It felt like part of me.

    Do you think they could knit me a 1978 Mercedes-Benz 450SE?

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