Right – everyone here? Everyone got a drink? Where are those matches? Ah, here they are, on a low shelf along with all the sharp, pointy things and the household cleaning products. Where are the kids? No idea? Surfing the net unattended? Watching unsuitable films on TV? Oh, what bad, bad parents we are!
Are you ready to let go of all those unrealistic resolutions and watch the guilt go up in flames? Good. Me too. There we go. It’s catching nicely, what with all the gasoline of media disapproval that gets poured on at regular intervals, and fanned by the combined hot air of the ‘experts’ and ‘-ologists’. You know, the ones who make you feel that being a parent is sooo complicated, you just can’t trust your own judgement, and you really should rely on what they tell you.
Ooh – you can really feel the heat now, can’t you? I can see your faces in the glow – maybe it’s a trick of the light, but you all look so relaxed and happy and – well – just in the moment. Like a weight is falling from your shoulders. Feel free to add any other stuff you’ve brought along. ‘My children will only eat organic.’ ‘I’ll never give way to pester power.’ ‘Only wooden toys.’ ‘No Maccy D’s.’ ‘I’ll read to them every single night.’
Get rid of it all here and watch it burn. You’re among friends, and we all agree: being a good enough parent is plenty good enough. We’re doing our best. It time for us to have some fun. Now don’t you feel better? Time for a dance, I think, round the fire, like the mad muthas we all are. Enjoy! Here’s to us – and the return of our sanity… for now, at least.