It’s all about me(me)!


See what I did there? Bit of a play on words – good, eh? Plus a little French joke too – you’ve got to admit, I’m a bargain.

Right, down to business. I’ve been ruthlessly tagged with a meme by the lovely Dana Loesch over at Mamalogues and must now divulge ‘Five Things People Don’t Know About Me’. I was all of a pother when I got her email, quite unsure of how to proceed. I know, from having strolled through the meandering paths of the blogosphere these last couple of months that I should kind of roll my eyes and sigh resignedly before doing this – but to tell the truth, I’m chuffed to bits to have been asked. And especially by Dana, who’s writing is more than funny enough to make whatever you’re drinking come out through your nose. I’ve sworn off reading her stuff in the morning, while I’m enjoying my first cup of tea of the day. I just don’t have the time to be dashing off to A&E at the moment. You’ve been warned.

Anyway – I’m actually two people most of the time – although not in a way that needs medication (often), but since someone very clever (Mark Twain, perhaps) said that only emperors, Siamese twins and people with tapeworms should refer to themselves as ‘we’, ‘I’ it stays. You’ll have to pick the bones out yourselves. That wasn’t the first thing, by the way. I’m starting … from … now:

  1. Both of me are somewhat claustrophobic, but one of me won’t go anywhere by plane, while the other one of me won’t use the Channel Tunnel. This limits the possibilites for author trips abroad – I’m hoping this will be a problem one day.
  2. Both of me went to boarding school, but neither of me seems particularly scarred by the experience. (Unless maybe that claustrophobia thing …)
  3. One of me can’t abide the sound of toast being buttered and has to run from the room, hands firmly clasped over ears, if anyone scrapes the burnt bits off. The other one of me is very insensitive to other people’s suffering and eats crunchy toast with no qualms at all.
  4. Both of me studied Russian for a while and, although neither of me can remember much, I can both do an outrageous ‘Bond villain’ accent – and keep it up for hours and hours.
  5. Both of me hates thongs, but neither of me believes magic pants can work. I mean, it’s got to go somewhere, hasn’t it?

Right – you’ve had yer lot. I hope someone, somwhere was interested enough to read to the end of that. Cos now, I’ve got to pick one of you to tag. Oooh! The power! I’d like a volunteer, please, or I might have to keep you all in at break time… Anyone? Anyone at all?

What? No-one?!

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13 thoughts on “It’s all about me(me)!

  1. Now you’ve got me. I have been strolling the blogosphere for year and I still haven’t got the point of memes. Or indeed, what they are… exactly. THat probably makes me super thick.

    I emailed one of you. But not sure if it was the one with the toast phobia or not!

    Jane

  2. I like the toast revelation best.

    If you can do Russian Bond villains, you can do that evil guy from Kaos in Get Smart too, right? I love that accent…

    (ps – you two can set up your blogger account so you each have your own identity appearing at the end of your posts if you want – Kim and I did this for a year or so on Glamorouse. Email me if you want to know how it’s done)

  3. Now the whole of the blogoshere knows the secret kryptonite to make one of you do their bidding…

    [[[buttering toast now…]]]

  4. aaaargh! the pain … can’t take the pain … make it stop – please – i’ll do anything … oh no! not marmalade too! mercy …

  5. P is definitely right. It should be Moobs. Being Emperor of Moobsrobia has to have some drawbacks!

    Is it just toast or all scrapey noises?

    P.S. I bought your book on Amazon and started reading it last week. While many of the English pop culture references are completely over my head, I still think it’s hillarious!

  6. Is it safe?
    *peers over the edge of her keyboard*
    Is it safe?
    Has the threat of being meme-d passed? I do not want to be meme-d.
    Memes sound alot like quizzes. But those annoying quizzes for which you can not study and you have zero chance of passing. Not unlike this motherhood gig.
    I’m not going to play with you Mad Muthas if there is any chance of quizzes. Especially if there is math involved!

    -ADM

    (I bought your new book too! Came last week. Haven’t read it yet as is suppose to be a Christmas stocking stuffer. But it smelt nice. Yeah, I’m a bit odd.)

  7. lawyer m – i’m tempted by moobs – (aren’t we all) but i wonder if he’d cooperate? thanks so much for buying the book. lattes on me next time you’re in leafy warwickshire. it’s not all scrapy noises – but i also can’t cope with the noise gingernuts make in my head when i eat them (i can’t believe i’m saying this) and i also loathe the feeling of prawncrackers on the tongue. oh dear – i now sound completely mad.

    adm – you’re tempting me sorely! but i don’t want to vex you. rest assured there’s no maths involved – if there were, i’d have spontaneously combusted by now.did you get the novel or the non-fiction? glad it smells nice (wtf?)tell you what, it’s pretty cool having two books on 3 for 2 in waterstones at the same time! look – since you bought the book and all, i’ll let you off … this time … but i think the world should know about your book sniffing habits.
    x

  8. I (er, we) have yet to be tagged with a meme (hint, hint!).

    P.S. I like the sound of “all of a pother.” Not quite sure what it means, exactly, but I assume something like “bothered”…(?) In any case, I shall start to use it immediately!

  9. can i recommend everyone to go and have a look at moobs’ answers. took me ages to find them, but oooh the travelling was good. looking forward to the return of brother moobs.

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