See what I did there? Bit of a play on words – good, eh? Plus a little French joke too – you’ve got to admit, I’m a bargain.
Right, down to business. I’ve been ruthlessly tagged with a meme by the lovely Dana Loesch over at Mamalogues and must now divulge ‘Five Things People Don’t Know About Me’. I was all of a pother when I got her email, quite unsure of how to proceed. I know, from having strolled through the meandering paths of the blogosphere these last couple of months that I should kind of roll my eyes and sigh resignedly before doing this – but to tell the truth, I’m chuffed to bits to have been asked. And especially by Dana, who’s writing is more than funny enough to make whatever you’re drinking come out through your nose. I’ve sworn off reading her stuff in the morning, while I’m enjoying my first cup of tea of the day. I just don’t have the time to be dashing off to A&E at the moment. You’ve been warned.
Anyway – I’m actually two people most of the time – although not in a way that needs medication (often), but since someone very clever (Mark Twain, perhaps) said that only emperors, Siamese twins and people with tapeworms should refer to themselves as ‘we’, ‘I’ it stays. You’ll have to pick the bones out yourselves. That wasn’t the first thing, by the way. I’m starting … from … now:
- Both of me are somewhat claustrophobic, but one of me won’t go anywhere by plane, while the other one of me won’t use the Channel Tunnel. This limits the possibilites for author trips abroad – I’m hoping this will be a problem one day.
- Both of me went to boarding school, but neither of me seems particularly scarred by the experience. (Unless maybe that claustrophobia thing …)
- One of me can’t abide the sound of toast being buttered and has to run from the room, hands firmly clasped over ears, if anyone scrapes the burnt bits off. The other one of me is very insensitive to other people’s suffering and eats crunchy toast with no qualms at all.
- Both of me studied Russian for a while and, although neither of me can remember much, I can both do an outrageous ‘Bond villain’ accent – and keep it up for hours and hours.
- Both of me hates thongs, but neither of me believes magic pants can work. I mean, it’s got to go somewhere, hasn’t it?
Right – you’ve had yer lot. I hope someone, somwhere was interested enough to read to the end of that. Cos now, I’ve got to pick one of you to tag. Oooh! The power! I’d like a volunteer, please, or I might have to keep you all in at break time… Anyone? Anyone at all?