Down by the River

I am at the scene of a crime …

rivergirlie — Fri, 08 May 2009 08:45:38 +0000

The evidence:

The main suspect:

Now tell me – does it look to you as if butter would melt in his mouth?

Look – what can I say? I’m sooo sorry!

rivergirlie — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:29:57 +0000

I just popped out for a pint of milk, I took a wrong turning, ended up at Facebook, met a few people I knew, found out what 1980s sweet I am (CurlyWurly), did a bit of superpoking (!) then got lost coming home and found myself on Twitter.

And you’ve been waiting all this time for a cup of tea.

The New Doctor Who?

rivergirlie — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:16:21 +0000

Well I’ve never heard of him, so that’s that. I did google images and here is the pick of the first page of Matt Smiths:

Faites vos jeux, mesdames et messieurs …

Thank heaven for the internet!

rivergirlie — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:39:09 +0000

The other day I had to buy a dozen double damask dinner napkins. Don’t ask why. I just did. Sometimes you simply have to do these things.

Anyway, thanks to the internet I was able simply to click in the appropriate place on the John Lewis website and didn’t have to go and actually ask for them. Who knows what might have happened otherwise!

Something amusing to amuse you while I think of something to say …

rivergirlie — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:20:17 +0000

Gotta love Frank Skinner!

(my fave bit is about missing the ice cream van)

Stingraaaay! Stingray! Da-da-daa-da-daa-da!

rivergirlie — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:20:48 +0000

Sing it with me …

INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

rivergirlie — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:19:50 +0000

i only just heard about this little shard of lunacy. have i missed it?

and whose crrrrraaaaazzzzzyyyyy idea is this anyway?

anyone who’s been lucky enough (hemhem) to get an email or even a comment from me will know that i eschew caps wherever possible. it’s not that i think i’m ee cummings or anything, it’s just that caps always seem so shouty – and i don’t like shouty. i get enough of shouty at home, thank you very much.

so if it’s international caps lock day today, should i just slink away? or should i carry on with my beloved unassuming l/c, confident in the knowledge that everyone else will be shouting too loud to hear me? xx

(i’m not always this slow off the mark, btw. i was right up there on ‘talk like a pirate’ day – aaaarrrr.)

How true, Mr Gibbons, how true

rivergirlie — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:53:54 +0000

The silver swan, who living had no note,
When death approached, unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast upon the reedy shore,
Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:
“Farewell, all joys! O death, come close mine eyes!
More geese than swans now live, more fools than wise.”

I keep getting these emails,

rivergirlie — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:45:46 +0000

… from unknown persons, very kindly offering a solution to my problems with short pinis.

What do they know about my pinny? And would it be churlish to point out their spelling mistake?

I am literally pinned down by a washing machine!

rivergirlie — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:49:58 +0000

Don’t you love it when people say ‘literally’ when they literally mean ‘metaphorically’ or even ‘figuratively’? One of my all time faves is ‘They’ve literally got us over a barrel’. I’m literally imagining old-fashioned hoisting equipment, complete with clanking chains and huge oily cogs, and our hapless victim dangling from a large hook.

Anyway, this is literally me, today, between the hours of 9.15 and 1.15. And if there is any problem, Dixons will feel the full force of my wrath, because I’ve been prevented from seeing some someones I very much want to see! Grrrr.

Of course, once it arrives (see what a ‘washing machine half full’ kind of person I literally am), I’ll be able to have washing machine parties, and I’ll invite all my many positively vetted friends. Figuratively speaking.