So, there I was, minding my own business in the middle of Whitehall, the kids were warmly wrapped in a cosy sheet that just happened to have the 1st article of the Declaration of Human Rights painted on it. It was, to all intents and purposes, a perfectly ordinary Sunday.
Through the throng, there came a little man. ‘Quelqu’un qui parle Francais?’ he pleaded. ‘Personne?’
Well, me – obviously. I do. I have a string of translations to my name – fascinating stuff, too. Thirteen volumes. If you want to know anything at all about robot spot welding, I’m your woman. CAD/CAM – easy peasy. Remote control and proprioception – pas de probleme. Of course, this was all about 20 years ago, but still. So I stepped forward.
‘Oui, m’sieur. Je parle Francais. Je peux vous aider?’
Well, it transpired that he was not a Frenchman in distress. What he really wanted was an interview for French radio on what was going on. I was now in too far to get out, so plunged on – recklessly.
It’s amazing, isn’t it, just how blank your mind goes when someone puts you on the spot. Particularly in another language. I think I may have said that Gordon Brown was a ladle. And I’m pretty certain that I expressed nothing but disdain for the people who were carrying the Olympic teatowel that day.
I forgot to ask him what channel the interview was going out on. Probably just as well. But if anyone did hear it – please, don’t tell me what else I got wrong.
chunque said,
April 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm
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Denguy said,
April 24, 2008 at 1:59 am
Hey, I haven’t been here in a bit, I’ve forgotten what a rebel you are.
AlphaDogMa said,
April 24, 2008 at 4:24 am
I’m sure you are witty in many many languages. Pig latin, for instance.
Corgimom said,
April 25, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Near as I can tell, Gordon Brown IS a ladle–and a danged small one at that!
James S said,
April 26, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I do like the idea of an Olympic Tea Towel – Perhaps it should dry an item for each event in every country it ‘rests’.
It would make very interesting telly watching protesters trying to wrestle the tea-towel from its official tea towel bearer.
In places of repression they could carry it in disguise i.e. masquerading as a dish-cloth or hand-towel.
the official start and finish could be the drying of a greek Urn or, in the 2008 case, a china tea-pot.
Sorry – my imagination ran away.
Hope you had a uneventful protest.
Vive le (what is the French for tea-towel – where is Petite Anglaise when you need her.
Tim Footman said,
April 27, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I had a similar experience in Edinburgh once, although the bloke doing the interviewing was supposedly speaking my native language. To be fair, I was very drunk, and I don’t think the TV man was fit to operate heavy machinery either.
I do wonder if the clip is ever rolled out on ‘It’ll Be All Reet On The Neet, The Noo’ with Dennis McNordern.
meredic said,
April 27, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I remember once telling a french family, after a stupendous feast, that I was absolutely full. Patting my stomach to emphasise the point.
After a brief stunned silence, a wag at the table asked me if I knew who the father was….
Pig in the Kitchen said,
May 10, 2008 at 2:05 pm
too funny! Spot on with Gordon Brown being a louche…!
Pigx
Frog in the Field said,
May 11, 2008 at 6:55 am
HAHAAAA!
Very very funny!
What’s Pig doing here?
Is she stalking me again??