The other night, one of my cats brought in a mouse. It escaped for a moment and seemed to be salvageable so I thought I’d salvage it. Unfortunately, my cat (Smudge) also had the same idea and grabbed the mouse before I could get to him.
This is not my cat, by the way. Mine is a hundred times more handsome. And very determined.
So there I was with this wretched cat clamped between my knees and my left hand cupped under his mouth ready to catch the mouse when he eventually let go or loosened his grip, at least.
And I waited. And I waited.
And all the time Smudge is doing this furious growling thing.
And I waited. And I tried to lever his jaws open, to no avail.
So, in desperation, I held his nose.
That’s right – I held a cat’s nose.
And eventually, he dropped the mouse and I released it outside.
There – you heard it here first. I have held a cat’s nose.
You know, the worst of it is, this actually enhances my CV. God! I’m so proud of myself!
cronznet said,
December 12, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I have never held a cat’s nose, for any reason, and hope to never have to do so. Maybe you need to keep a supply of kitty-sized hankies handy while your huntress scours her surroundings for live prey with which to gift you.
I highly admire your mouse-centered charity.
rivergirlie said,
December 12, 2007 at 6:59 pm
thank you cronz. i think, though, it’s my daughter who is empress of all the kitties. they regularly crunch the bones outside her bedroom door. i can’t recommend cat nose holding as a hobby, but should the need arise at least i’ve established that it can be accomplished without major loss. xxx
disgruntled said,
December 12, 2007 at 9:55 pm
So is that part 1 because there are more confessions to come?
Ister said,
December 13, 2007 at 3:18 am
Holding a cat’s nose is not the same as picking it. Count yourself lucky you’ve not done that yet. It’s very, very difficult to do.
Debi said,
December 13, 2007 at 12:28 pm
You can let go now.
rivergirlie said,
December 13, 2007 at 8:02 pm
dis sorry to sneak up on you like that! did i give you a fright? very much looking forward to seeing the finished product. anyway – yes, it probably will become a series although i don’t have anything planned at present. the thing is, i’ve noticed that i quite often think to myself, ‘how on earth did i get into this situation’. seems to be a defining characteristic of my days … i veer through life riding the clutch, as it were.
ister please, please, please tell me more. do you suppose cosmetic surgeons ever get tired of saying to their rhinoplasty patients, ‘would you like to pick your nose’?
deb phew – thanks. i was beginning to get cramp. xx
Ister said,
December 13, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Well RG, it’s a common myth that you should only use matchsticks or cotton wool buds to pick a cat’s nose. These implements, as we all know, are too thick girth wise and would never fit up a feline’s nostril. What you need is a something thin but rigid, such as a pen refill or an electric guitar string (preferably used but wiped down with an antiseptic solution prior to application). This will allow you, the picker, to really rummage around the cat’s (the pickee) nostrils, allowing simple and efficient removal of hardened snot.
Whatever you do, don’t try and make the cat inhale Vick’s Sinex. They don’t like that.
Lucy (WithaY) said,
December 14, 2007 at 7:18 pm
I am going to be looking at my spare guitar strings in an entirely new way now.
And the neighbours’ cats.
Hmm…
sean reckles said,
December 15, 2007 at 5:37 am
That’ a first right enough. The last time my cat wouldn’t let go I caugh him by the balls- that work even better; not as original, but everytime.
Tim Footman said,
December 15, 2007 at 7:52 am
Holding or even blowing a cat’s nose is unpleasant, but nothing compared to draining a dog’s clogged anal sacs.
jimmycapstick said,
December 15, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Oh my crap, Tim Footman just made me vurp.
My cat is 18, not grumpy at all, and I am going to hold her nose now just to see what she does.
jimmycapstick said,
December 15, 2007 at 12:45 pm
It makes her grumpy. Who’d have guessed?
you da mom said,
December 15, 2007 at 6:29 pm
draining a dog’s clogged anal sacs? i mean, that just sounds…uncomfortable for both parties involved.
stephen said,
December 16, 2007 at 9:55 pm
just putting my head round the door to say thanks for the comment re the croup and Cranford. very unsettling scene – esp coming so close after our little run-in with the thing. I love the NHS with a passion.
AlphaDogMa said,
December 17, 2007 at 4:14 am
Today I drained my dogs IMPACTED anal glands. I win the gross-things-related-to-pets-contest AGAIN!
rivergirlie said,
December 17, 2007 at 11:59 am
ister or should i call you mister ister? my respect for you grows with every new fact i learn. first the ear wax, no the cat bogeys. i’m all agog – quite literally!!!
lucY resist! prison is no place to spend christmas. although … someone else doing the cooking and a room or one’s own … it’s beginning to sound appealing (don’t want to be anyone’s cellbitch though)
sean unfortunately for my cat, he doesn’t have the equipment!
ok tim you totally win! i’d far sooner be round the front end of a cat than the rear end of a dog …
jimmy i agree! tim deserves some kind of award – i bet there’s a blog category for bloggers writing on the topic of dogs’ anal glands … somewhere. thank you for carrying out the experiment on your cat. we seekers after truth have to forge boldly ahead. hope you cat has forgiven you.
youda i so agree. i think the important thing, probably, would be to remember to put the clothespeg on your nose BEFORE you begin.
stephen glad your little boy is better. croup is terribly scary for all concerned – just the sound! ugghhh! hope it’s a one off. we’re fairly sanguine about it now having had so many bouts. and you’re right – what would we do without the NHS, flawed though it may be?
alph okay – you win now. what a lovely pre-christmas treat for you. i’ll bet the rest of the family made themselves scarce!!! xxx