I may live to regret asking this. We shall see …
I went to supper with some friends the other day and a very nice time I had. We had some kind of yummy coronation chicken type thing on bits of poppadum to start with, eaten outside on our hosts’ terrace, overlooking a Capability Brown landscape – or what’s left of it by the farmer who ploughs closer and closer to the oaks every year, in an effort to render them so unsafe he can chop them down unhindered. Then we went in for baked salmon, new potatoes, beans both green and broad and a yummy salad. Finally, my friend had made a lemon meringue pie for which the only word that comes near being adequate is ’ambrosial’.
Anyroad – we were chatting about this and that, and one of the chaps there is a barrister/recorder/judge type person, and for reasons that, of course, he couldn’t explain he’s recently been subjected to positive vetting by someone from the MOD. And one of the questions his inquisitor asked him was, ‘Have you ever attended a washing-machine party?’
And, totally baffled, but anxious to cooperate, he replied that, no he hadn’t.
Well – er – me neither. As far as I know. Can anyone enlighten me?
flutter said,
August 10, 2007 at 5:36 pm
*blink blink*
does that have sexual conotations? I am so confused.
Bennett said,
August 10, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Hmmm could a geek go to a party, find himself jumping in a terrible amount of foam and figure there’s a problem with the washing machine?
Jen said,
August 10, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Crikey… one can only assume it would be good, clean fun?
disgruntled said,
August 10, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Er – have you googled it? (not that I have, too scared of what might come up).
Tell your friends to get their local tree officer to put a tree preservation order on those oaks.
rivergirlie said,
August 10, 2007 at 10:31 pm
flutter that makes you, me and everyone else who was at my friend’s house
bennett i can’t come up with anything racier than that. perhaps we’re sadly lacking in imagination.
jen i certainly hope so! but you’d have to use non-bio … no – stop it – stop thinking about it now!
dis i scarcely dare google – but it is the source of all my knowledge, along with wiki, these days. there are tpo’s on them! but the enforcement officer is such a wet lettuce, she isn’t doing anything about it. my friend is a lawyer, and has got the council to disclose all correspondance relating to the trees, and made a big hoohah in the local papers – to no avail as yet. and the longer it goes on, the worse the damage to the trees – it makes me want to cry! (or spit – or both)
LawyerMama said,
August 11, 2007 at 1:16 am
I am so tempted to google washing machine parties, but I’m sure I will regret it….
disgruntled said,
August 11, 2007 at 6:33 am
OK, I broke down and googled it, but nothing came up.
That’s a shame about the enforcement officer. If he’s damaging the trees and they’ve got a tpo on them then he can be fined thousands of pounds. How about a lot of pointy rocks buried around the trees to damage his plough?
cronznet said,
August 12, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Well, I found this: http://www.partyworks.co.uk/inflatables/p_washing.htm
I don’t see how this could be something for MOD to get worked up over, though.
Istvanski said,
August 13, 2007 at 7:59 am
That inquisitor was only spinning a yarn.
Jane Henry said,
August 13, 2007 at 11:00 am
All that comes to mind is the scene from Muriel’s Wedding when the groom is shagging the bridesmaid on the washing machine… maybe that’s just my mind.
Given that I have just come back from holiday, the washing machine has rather different connotations in my house (also it’s under a worksurface so any kind of shenanigans might be rather tricky).
Can you email me as I have something funny to tell you but thanks to the vagaries of aol have lost your email addy..xxxj
Rilly Super said,
August 14, 2007 at 12:37 pm
This is The MOD rivergirlie, so it was likely a precursor to an invitation to such an event that weekend rather than a national security concern.
Jane Alexander said,
August 14, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Er, isn’t it something to do with the fact that if you sit on a washing machine when it’s on the spin cycle it is (allegedly) er stimulating….. Can’t say I’ve tried it though and the idea of a party gives the rather delightful image of many people sitting on a bank of washing machines all getting rather hot and bothered. Then again, could be entirely wrong.
Patroclus said,
August 15, 2007 at 11:50 am
Perhaps it’s an obscure allusion to ‘My Beautiful Laundrette’.
Urban Chick said,
August 15, 2007 at 12:21 pm
in MY day, when one was PVed, it was ‘have you ever attended a pampered chef party?’ because it is a well-known fact that PC parties form part of an underground (female, middle class, mini-muffin-tray-wielding) terrorist network
innit?
Billy said,
August 15, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I’d rather go to a fridge/freezer party.
Mr.X said,
August 15, 2007 at 2:55 pm
For some reason, the phrase “spin the bottle” came to mind.
Either we are getting a trifle perverse, or we’re just twisted.
Votes are welcomed…
Mangonel said,
August 20, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Code. Definitely code.
Lucy (WithaY) said,
August 22, 2007 at 4:35 pm
I wonder if your friend misheard – perhaps the DV guy said “Washing MARINES party”.
They frown on that sort of thing I believe.
belle said,
August 23, 2007 at 9:50 pm
must have misheard – I mean you’d hardly throw your washing machine on to the floor in the living room, would you?
I know that MOD high-ups have an awfully bad rep when it comes to sex n all that … but it must be easier than my Whirlpool or yours?
Ask that love rat Air VIce Marshall what’s ‘is name!
Clive For Nothing said,
August 25, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Do think they might have said, ‘Have you ever been a member of the Washing Machine Party?’ A subversive group in the seventies who would kidnap soldiers in camouflage, and give em a right good scrubbing, and then send them back into the battlefield looking really conspicuous?
I bet they did.
rockmother said,
August 26, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Erm…is it sort of like a wife-swapping thing where you leave your pants in the washing machine on arrival and pick them up later after a consuela-type housemaid has dried and pressed them?
rockmother said,
August 26, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I tentatively googled ‘washing machine party’ and got this:
http://www.partyworks.co.uk/inflatables/p_washing.htm
Perhaps he meant that? Just going off to refill my glass of wine and sit in the garden and reflect on the merits of tupperware.
Where Are YOU!? said,
August 27, 2007 at 3:49 am
So where are you? Off having your very own washing machine party with the husband? Or working on another new book?
Steve Kane said,
August 27, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I went to a washing machine party once. Haven’t been able to walk straight since.
Still, it wasn’t as bad as the kitchen utensil party…
bec said,
August 28, 2007 at 10:50 am
Oh dear. I think I may have been at Steve’s party.
Possibly I’m the reason he couldn’t walk.
It’s the fabric softener, you see…
Steve Kane said,
August 28, 2007 at 6:30 pm
The fabric softener couldn’t soften everything though, could it. And let’s never speak of the Cilit Bang! multi-purpose cleaner ever again…
Ben said,
August 30, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Isn’t that a party round your mum’s. You and your pals get squiffy whilst she sticks your whites on a boil wash and your colours on a planet-saving 30 degrees?
moobs said,
August 31, 2007 at 10:18 am
I know a number of barristers whoi have been positively vetted – let’s see if I can find out.
Meredic said,
August 31, 2007 at 12:33 pm
When you find out…. can I come?
Marmite Breath said,
September 3, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Where the hell are you, River Girlie?? Are you at an illicit food processor party?
emmak said,
September 5, 2007 at 6:59 pm
I dunno…all I know about washing machines is that you can have an orgasm while sitting on one while it is rattling through the most, er rhythmic bit of the cycle. Although why a bunch of you would all sit on it at the same time, naked limbs entwined, I don’t know. Because surely you’d break the damn thing. I’m baffled!
Moobs said,
September 7, 2007 at 8:43 am
I have a friend who advises the secret services. He tells me he has no idea what this is about … though perhaps he simply could not tell me.
Henry North London said,
September 8, 2007 at 7:34 pm
I googled it and the only reasonably sensible link was back to this page
So you’ve started something at least
rivergirlie said,
September 10, 2007 at 5:30 pm
thank heavens none of you has an exciting enough life to have been invited to a washing machine party …. if indeed they exist. i’d have felt very small if everyone knew but me. but i’m slightly worried now that, in view of what henry north says, i’ll be under close surveillance myself! (note to self: be more interesting … just in case)
Mel said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:30 pm
(Confused Yank here). What’s the MOD? Is that like Ministry of Decency or something???
;p
Henry North London said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Ministry of Defence
The Pentagon in other words
Henry North London said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:11 pm
“HOWEVER! there is an ask by me and my flatties. we are having what vin and sandra call ‘a washing machine party’. the one ask is that can you please bring a bottle of spirits. anything is fine
they will all be mixed into our make shift washing machine, once mixed, its free for all. we will supply the likes of lemonade and coke too mix with the concoction. and if you want too b.y.o thats cool too. there will be a game or 2 to be had (if all goes too plan). so be there, itll be a great nite!”