The evidence:
The main suspect:
Now tell me – does it look to you as if butter would melt in his mouth?
Look – what can I say? I’m sooo sorry!
April 20, 2009 at 9:29 pm (i'm losing my marbles, why the internet is pants)
I just popped out for a pint of milk, I took a wrong turning, ended up at Facebook, met a few people I knew, found out what 1980s sweet I am (CurlyWurly), did a bit of superpoking (!) then got lost coming home and found myself on Twitter.
And you’ve been waiting all this time for a cup of tea.
The New Doctor Who?
January 3, 2009 at 7:16 pm (bleeeuurgh, bwahaha, competition, culture, i'm losing my marbles, press, television, why the internet is pants)
Well I’ve never heard of him, so that’s that. I did google images and here is the pick of the first page of Matt Smiths:
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Faites vos jeux, mesdames et messieurs …
Thank heaven for the internet!
December 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm (activities, bwahaha, consumerism, culture, gifts you can't live without, random thoughts, vague embarrassment)
The other day I had to buy a dozen double damask dinner napkins. Don’t ask why. I just did. Sometimes you simply have to do these things.
Anyway, thanks to the internet I was able simply to click in the appropriate place on the John Lewis website and didn’t have to go and actually ask for them. Who knows what might have happened otherwise!
Something amusing to amuse you while I think of something to say …
November 24, 2008 at 3:20 pm (bwahaha, culture, television)
Gotta love Frank Skinner!
(my fave bit is about missing the ice cream van)
Stingraaaay! Stingray! Da-da-daa-da-daa-da!
October 28, 2008 at 8:20 pm (bwahaha, culture, television)
Sing it with me …
INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY
October 25, 2008 at 10:19 am (Writers who blog, bwahaha, competition, computers, culture, half term, lunacy, why the internet is pants)
i only just heard about this little shard of lunacy. have i missed it?
and whose crrrrraaaaazzzzzyyyyy idea is this anyway?
anyone who’s been lucky enough (hemhem) to get an email or even a comment from me will know that i eschew caps wherever possible. it’s not that i think i’m ee cummings or anything, it’s just that caps always seem so shouty – and i don’t like shouty. i get enough of shouty at home, thank you very much.
so if it’s international caps lock day today, should i just slink away? or should i carry on with my beloved unassuming l/c, confident in the knowledge that everyone else will be shouting too loud to hear me? xx
(i’m not always this slow off the mark, btw. i was right up there on ‘talk like a pirate’ day – aaaarrrr.)
How true, Mr Gibbons, how true
September 26, 2008 at 3:53 pm (culture, plus ca change)
The silver swan, who living had no note,
When death approached, unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast upon the reedy shore,
Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:
“Farewell, all joys! O death, come close mine eyes!
More geese than swans now live, more fools than wise.”
I keep getting these emails,
September 18, 2008 at 10:45 pm (culture, stupid puns, unwanted advice, vague embarrassment, why the internet is pants)
… from unknown persons, very kindly offering a solution to my problems with short pinis.
What do they know about my pinny? And would it be churlish to point out their spelling mistake?
I am literally pinned down by a washing machine!
September 16, 2008 at 8:49 am (damn lies, gifts you can't live without, homework, i'm losing my marbles, parties, plus ca change, shoes)
Don’t you love it when people say ‘literally’ when they literally mean ‘metaphorically’ or even ‘figuratively’? One of my all time faves is ‘They’ve literally got us over a barrel’. I’m literally imagining old-fashioned hoisting equipment, complete with clanking chains and huge oily cogs, and our hapless victim dangling from a large hook.
Anyway, this is literally me, today, between the hours of 9.15 and 1.15. And if there is any problem, Dixons will feel the full force of my wrath, because I’ve been prevented from seeing some someones I very much want to see! Grrrr.
Of course, once it arrives (see what a ‘washing machine half full’ kind of person I literally am), I’ll be able to have washing machine parties, and I’ll invite all my many positively vetted friends. Figuratively speaking.
